written by Johnson Michelle

Bolaji Idowu Calls Out ‘Professional Receivers’ in Relationships

Pastor Bolaji Idowu of Harvesters International Christian Centre has criticised what he described as one-sided gift-giving in romantic relationships, jokingly labelling some women “professional receivers” for accepting expensive presents while offering their partners comparatively inexpensive gifts.

The cleric made the remarks during a sermon titled What Do You Do When Love Begins To Hurt, delivered on October 11, where he questioned why couples could date for months without exchanging gifts.

His message centred on reciprocity, arguing that generosity should not flow in only one direction when both partners claim to love each other.

Bolaji Idowu Questions One-Sided Gift-Giving

During the sermon, Idowu challenged couples who spend months together without making even small gestures of generosity towards each other.

“How can you date someone for three months and there is no exchange of gifts?” he asked, before directing his criticism towards women he believes expect their partners to do most of the giving.

The pastor stressed that women should also take the initiative to buy gifts for the men they are dating, rather than treating gift-giving as an obligation that rests solely on their partners.

“As he’s giving you too, you are giving,” he said, emphasising that both people in a relationship should demonstrate consideration through their actions.

‘Professional Receivers’: Pastor Highlights Gift Double Standard 

Idowu used the phrase “professional receivers” to describe women who, in his view, expect expensive gifts from their boyfriends but give comparatively inexpensive presents in return.

“Some ladies are professional receivers. It’s my birthday. Okay, we agree it’s your birthday — what about his birthday? You now buy boxers and singlets,” he said.

He contrasted the example with the presents he said some women expect for their own birthdays, including an iPhone or a trip to Qatar.

“But your own birthday they are buying iPhone, a trip to Qatar. But your own — no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,” he added.

The comparison drew attention to the difference between expecting luxury gifts and making thoughtful gestures for a partner. His argument was not that every gift must carry the same price tag, but that generosity should not be reserved for one person in the relationship.

‘Love Should Make Giving Easy’

Beyond the comparison between expensive presents and basic clothing, Idowu argued that genuine affection should encourage people to give willingly.

“If it’s love, it must be easy to give, and giving is two ways,” he said.

He explained that generosity does not have to involve costly purchases, pointing instead to everyday acts of thoughtfulness.

“I drove by, I saw suya, I bought suya, I saw this, I bought this,” he said, describing simple gestures that can show a partner they are being considered.

The example shifted the focus from the financial value of a present to the intention behind it. A small purchase made thoughtfully, his message suggested, can communicate affection without placing pressure on either partner to spend beyond their means. 

What His Message Means for Couples

Idowu’s remarks raise a familiar question about expectations in modern relationships: should partners give equally, or should generosity be measured by the effort and consideration behind each gesture?

His central argument was that relationships should not become arrangements in which one person continually gives while the other only receives.

However, mutual generosity does not necessarily mean spending identical amounts. Couples may have different incomes, responsibilities and financial circumstances, making open communication and thoughtful gestures more practical measures of reciprocity than matching gift prices.

The pastor’s examples also touch on the pressure some people feel to demonstrate love through expensive presents. While luxury gifts can be meaningful, they are not the only way to show commitment or appreciation.

For couples, the broader lesson is to discuss expectations honestly, respect each other’s financial limits and ensure that care does not become a one-sided responsibility.

Idowu returned to the question that framed his message: “How can you date someone for three months and there is no exchange of gifts?”

His answer was clear: love should inspire generosity from both sides, even when that generosity comes in the form of something as simple as buying a partner suya on the way home